The "Anthony McCelland" Theory

Aight so in case you didn’t know, these NBA Finals been rigged. Miami’s down 3-2, and I’m still bout 99% sure that they are walking away with that Larry O’Brien trophy. But whether that happens or not, win, lose or draw, this entire shit been fixed from jump, due to a number of unrelated but highly rational reasons known as The Anthony McCelland Theory…

<——-Respectively named after & dedicated to the man who made this all possible, the biological pops of Lebron Raymone James, pictured with a face full of struggle to the left.

The League put a 6 game minimum on this series

The sad part about this picture is that I’m pretty sure son passed the ball back out to Joel Anthony or some type of clown of that nature. Being the Heat hater that I am, even I know this shit really should’ve been over in 4. Ya’ll telling me 40 year old J Kidd can check Lebron in the 4th. Lebron…..that same dude that gave the Pistons 25 in a row 1 on 5!? Nope, now way, not feasible. I’m 5’8 with no jimmy, and if walk into the gym and they got J Kidd on me even I’m feeling like he can’t hold me, “Yo swing rock he can’t f*** with me”….something ain’t right here smh

The League won’t let you fully prosper till you get the baldy

Michael, Magic, Kobe, Shaq, Dwayne….At this point what you and your hairline got left to prove? Learn from your elders, learn from history. Kobe cut the fro and caught 2 more rings. Mike and his hairline were struggling 7 long years, went bald and became the GOAT. Ya man Dwayne cruised to a chip bald now he’s on the brink of elimination with the low cease. Do us and yourself a favor and get that shit the fuck up outta here Bron….if he’s still sporting the angled headband tomorrow night chalk that up as a Mavs victory celebration.

They dropped Marvin’s Room same day you had wifey troubles

This is super foul right here though, Aubrey really dropped the soundtrack to your destruction son. You scored a career playoff low 8 points, followed by a another scoreless 4th quarter(that bucket with 15sec isn’t applicable), meanwhile Rashard got wifey looking at the box scores serenading her with the “I’m just sayin…..” She was really mad vulnerable at the time fam, you just gotta take that L. I’m saying either this is set up perfectly to give you an excuse to lose, or this is an added stepping stone to a heroic championship run….either way no timing should be that perfect

JJ Barea dropped 17 in a NBA Finals game

So yea this last one is completely unrelated to LeBron and really the dynamics of the series in general but fuck it. Jose Juan Barea scored 17 points in Game 5 of the NBA Finals….He’s 5’8 170lbs, can’t dunk, average handle, but apparently he can’t be stopped. This is really the most exciting part of the series to me because if he is eating in the league then I know we all still got a shot. Deadass did some suicides and 17s yesterday prepping for summer league tryouts. So if your under 25, keep the hoop aspirations alive yo…

….And that’s his wifey Ms. Universe smfh… the strength, keep hope alive ya’ll….one luv


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