"Swisshhh, I’m Swimming In a Yellow B****"

Aight so this here is an ode to the only actual upstanding NBA player there ever was, a legend in his own right, A.C. Green. A.C. by NO means is a legend for his playing ability, but he IS a legend for remaining a virgin in the midst of the 80s Showtime Lakers Era.

I use the word “legend” solely because some s*** like that will NEVER happen again in the NBA nor professional sports as a whole. They didn’t make females like this in the 80s b…male heterosexual DNA was NEVER built to be able turn down anything that looks like the 2 goddesses you see pictured above.

For example….this was considered live in the 80s….I’m saying I coulda remained a virgin too if this is what my best options were….
Her eyebrows are as thick as mine, not to mention the cake face, somebody please escort Paula Abdul the f*** outta here yo
But anyways, flashback to the present which is looking way brighter than the past. First you got Amber Rose up there, as the god @PatriarchPhelps bka Swish Van Ex would say, she’s “racially ambiguous”, thigh area is crazy, naturally fat chested, sweet gluteus maximus , lips, eyes, good money foot game!!! The chick might as well be the devil reincarnated, I really might consider committing a minor felony just to get those yeeks one time. Next you got Sports Illustrated’s Kate Upton(my favorite out right now), I’m going to keep it PG with her cause that picture speaks for itself, she is the epitome of the black athlete’s poison. And the worst part of it all…she’s 18 f***** years old b…..18!
Yo, its these same chicks that are waiting at your hotel room A.C.!! Freely swinging the box with no strings attached! Nope, no way possible you can preach your way out of that, it’d be uncivilized.
Son we even got oldhead gems out here slinging the box like its going out of style…

Aight so in closing, salute to you A.C. Green, salute to your lifestyle, salute to your jheri curl, you achieved a feat that can never be achieved again. BUT yo to the Tim Tebow’s & Jimmer Freddette’s of the world F*** YOU…for the simple fact that its 2011, and you trying to tell us ya’ll went through 4 years of college practicing abstinence, what do you take me for fam?

…Really Tim….you didn’t swim in this doggie??….yup, get that bulls*** the f*** outta here
…And for all my gz who could care less about abstinence or any other type of fuckery of that nature peep for your viewing pleasure…lord willing, like Ricky Rozay so eloquently stated; we will all be swimming in a yella bish one day…one luv


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