25 Days of Christmas (Toronto Raptors)

I’m going to start out this post with the honesty that defines what we do here, and with that being said truthfully I give not one f*** at all about anything involving basketball in the city of Toronto, that includes these  Raptors.

Only thing about this city that really interests me at all is these pill popping racially ambiguous females that The Weeknd & Drake write about. Nonetheless, the show must go on, here’s what you can coming out of the Air Canada center this season.

C Bosh leaving Toronto left the Raptors a lot more masculine but a lot less talentless. I had already known his plans back in 08 before shit hit the fan, here’s a pic of me and him below.  
GUARDS: Jerryd Bayless, Jose Calderon, Sonny Weems, Leandro Barbossa, Demar Derozan

FORWARDS: Alexis Anjica(Huh?) , Solomon Alabi(Who?), Linas Klieza, Reggie Evans, Joey Dorsey(Reggie Evans 2.0), Ed Davis, Andrea Bargnani

Toronto is clearly a bottom of the barrel team in the Eastern Conference, but the strange thing is they don’t seem to be in any hurry to rebuild. They’ve got money, won’t spend it, so looks like they are waiting to build through the draft. (As you should) The Raptors initially tried to build this team the “Euro” way, a strategy coined by their GM Jerry Colaneglo. As great of a basketball mind Mr. Colaneglo is (He selected the past 2 USA Gold Medal Teams) this new age team building strategy of his has been a huge fail. Soft jump shooting big men & undersized international guards earn no playoff spots in today’s game.

It’s easy to throw shade at a squad with so many blatant weaknesses, so let me attempt to pin point bright spots they might have. For one, Andrea Bargnani has improved his scoring every year, he humbly averaged 21ppg last season…21 points is good, but this man is 7’0 ft and averaged 5 rebounds. He’s plays like baby shit right now, and with all that Drizzy being played on those Toronto air waves he might mess around and average 23 and 3 next year. We recommend someone in that organization gets him some Kay Slay mix tapes immediately.

Ultimately The Raptor’s fate this season is going to lie on the shoulders of 3rd year swing Demar Derozan, his entire game mad leaps last season in year 2. At the end of last season we gave him our 1st team ‘Whose Next’ stamp in “You Probably Don’t Know Me”, which means he destined to hand out all types of work this year. I see him being the new school Monta Ellis, averaging over 20 with no shot at the All-Star team.

PREDICTION: 18-48 These guys stink man, plain and simple, no need for anymore fake analysis. They’ve got a starless team in a Eastern conference that will surely get stronger as the season goes one and trades are made. Look for them at the bottom of the standings this year, or you could not look for them at all. See ya’ll at the draft lottery Toronto, till then Take Care n*ggas.



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