Things always seem to work out for the Lakers one way or another. When it comes to player movement, the way the legends of the game seem to always land in Los Angeles only can be described as something voodoo like. The illogical becomes logical. (Pau Gasol traded for Kwame Brown and then a unknown Marc Gasol) And impulsive gut decisions become genius moves. (Vlade Divac in his prime traded for the 14th pic, a 17 year old kid named Kobe Bryant)
I’ve been halfway depressed for the last week now as it seems the Lakers reign as the Yankees of the NBA is finally coming to an end. Kobe takes 30 contested fadeaways a game, Andrew just wants to keep a fresh shape up and drunk drive with chicks in his Bugatti, and Pau is more worried bout getting his P.h.D than his PPG this season. But then it dawned upon me that history is most likely going to repeat itself again, making Laker & Kobe Bryant haters remarkably angry in the process. Let me show you how the stars are aligning for us….
1. THE NETS STINK
I mean we knew the Nets were going to be division 1 trash this year, but everything that could have possibly went wrong for them has gone wrong. Brook Lopez’s injury ruined their opportunity to use him as trade bait for Dwight Howard, which is the only thing that was potentially keeping Deron Williams in town. Since these events Deron has found every way to extend his disrespect to the franchise, and has done an excellent job so that every time he does it ends up on SportsCenter.
2. THE MAGIC ARE FAKE NICE
When Swish Smits created the classic All-Bro Team we clearly overlooked the Magic’s starting 4 man Ryan Anderson. He’s averaging 17 points & 7 rebounds this year(Pau averages 15 & 9 for comparison). The only reason for such a surge in this man’s play must be due to an upgrade in box he’s receiving(see The Power of the P.U ) Florida has tan slim tenders galore so I wouldn’t be surprised. But yea, he’s good so they’re good, Orlando is 12-5, Dwight is going nowhere this season.
Yup, we were right The Power of the P.U holds true yet again…(Word to mommy I didn’t even know this prior to writing that last paragraph, he got some fresh out the box, model box right before the season started though, heres proof Read This )
1 + 2 = 3. THE NETS NOW ARE IN A STRANGLE HOLD
So since its evident that the Nets will in fact not get Dwight this season, that puts the gamble they made on signing D Will without a contract extension at huge risk. And with a roster full of struggle and depression, there seems to be no logical reason to assume that Dwight would even want to sign to Brooklyn in the offseason. So, if you are New Jersey/Brooklyn, do you take yet another gamble and just let Deron Williams walk away at the end of the season and get nothing in return….???
Prokhorov cares about ball as much as Hov’s face cares about this convo they’re having.
4. MIKAHAIL PROKHOROV IS RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT OF RUSSIA
The answer to number 3 is yes, they should let him walk, take the cap space he leaves them with, and build intelligently through the draft. (a la OKC Thunder) But this will not be done. Prokhorov, the owner of the Nets is running for president of Russia, now think about how much thought he’s going to put into the building of his sports franchise. None, not one single ounce of care, concern, or strategy will be taken into account with the final decision of Deron Williams fate….so that he winds up….
END RESULT: DERON IN PURPLE & GOLD
The Nets are then constrained to making deals only with teams which Deron would like to go to & sign and extension with, “which from what my sources tell me”*Chris Brousard voice* is only Orlando, Dallas, & LA. And the only team out of those 3 with a big time All-Star to offer in return(not to mention a trade exception from the Lamar Odom deal) is non other than the Lakers. Long story short, LA gives up Pau & that trade exception to the Nets for Deron and whichever other players make the numbers line up.
So don’t fear my fellow Lakeshow fans, endure the slander from the Lebron lovers & bandwagon Clipper fans. Remain strong and steadfast, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Imagine all the sh*t we are going to be able to talk. It’s going to be great. Revenge is sweet.
And like all of the other theories/conspiracies here at Swish, this is 100% factual biased opinion, so don’t even begin to think about pressing those filthy keys to debate me on this. Ya’ll be cool though….