Commentary Gods

Sitting here watching the Sixers and Celtics play this ECSF series and everything is gravy. Rondo putting up unorthodox triple doubles, KG flashing back to “Tha Kid”, Iggy bricking open jumpers, everything is Gucci…. Almost everything. Ever since Mark Jackson signed that deal to coach the Golden State Whiteskins watching these NBA games haven’t been the same. JVG is good money but minus Mark Jackson he just reaches left and right and Mike Breen does absolutely nothing to stop him. Chris Webber worse on the mic than he was in that little stint with the Pistons. Reggie Miller swear he won a chip somewhere in his NBA career and he ain’t let the Knicks live, not for a minute, and Doris Burke (idk if she doing playoff games) worst woman to touch a mic other than Nicki Minaj this year.

That brings me to one of the three commentary Gawds (#1 Gus Johnson) Ima get Gus Johnson hologram to do my eulogy. Shit gonna be so fire. Gus really the GOAT of this whole TV thing. If Gus Johnson family had a sitcom it prolly be a better version of the Cosby’s. Gus prolly a live nigga too. Light pinky ring, sip Henny, smoke a little hash on the side. Gus ain’t for every game though. Like a Bucks-Warriors game ain’t when you wanna hear Gus. Gus only a live game commentator, he’ll just change your whole watching and listening experience. Lowkey, Gus prolly be the dopest radio announcer EVER.

The NBA genius that is Hubie Brown, I ask the basketball gods, “where art thou?”. Idk maybe i’m not watching the right games but I haven’t heard from Hubie at all this postseason. Hubie aint up there cracking jokes, he ain’t hating on the Knicks or Lebron, he’s literally coaching you through the game. Any real basketball fan appreciates the wisdom and jewels that Hubie drops on you. Hubie is what you always wished your high school coach was. Olajuwon didn’t even win the award in ’93 and idk the numbers from that year but Hubie just convinced me that Barkley robbed The Dream of the MVP. Hubie is a slow game announcer, you gonna want Hubie for those games where teams score less than 90. He’ll make you appreciate the Spurs and Pistons and Pacers of the league, he’ll tell you when a coach has implemented a little flex cut into the offense of, he just gives you a lesson in ball as you watch the game unfold.

 Then you have the god of the MSG. Walt “Clyde” Fraizer. Niggas really grew up on Walt, I know a lot of ppl don’t like him but this like if somebody say they don’t like ya moms cooking or ya pops got beat up, talking bad about Clyde really leaves us offended. Clyde taught us the definition of words such as ‘auspicious’, ‘beneficiary’, ‘effervescent’, ‘omnipresent’, and ‘serendipity’ and ‘tantalizing’. Clyde is as responsible for me doing well on the written part of my SAT’s as that orange book was. Sadly Clyde can only do Knicks games, the rest of the country wouldn’t appreciate the prolific vocabulary of Clyde. And Clyde rhymes really more fire than “Funeral Fab’s”. ‘Bounding and Astounding’, ‘Dishing and Swishing’, ‘Wheeling and Dealing’. Humble classic from Walt Clyde. Hubie Brown over ya grandpops!!! SWISHHH


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