The barbershop, cornerstone of the neighborhood, safe haven from the ills and burdens of the female gender. The shop only place on earth where niggas make drunk statements completely sober. Everybody walks in with a clip loaded full of their shit to talk. Some of the most epic arguments you ever witnessed about ball, chicks, and whatever else have taken place right here.
As I’m typing this I’m sad cause I ain’t been in the shop in a strong year, my hairline keep spitting Remy Ma verse from Lean Back repeatedly so I gotta cut it myself now. But anyways, I just want to pay homage to the barbershop, the environment, the owner, the barbers, the dude in the chair, the niggas waiting, even the lil niggas that make store runs.
The nigga in the chair is usually the one who really sets shit off. If you notice the smirk of this dude you see he knows he got the shine for the next 20-30 minutes, so he feels like he got the green like to throw out a few brash statements. This nigga is liable to make the ” Ya’ll know if AI had Shaq he woulda won 6 straight” type statement.
The beauty of it all is that he knows he’s dead wrong, but he doesn’t give a fuck. It’s Friday, he’s about to get this fresh shape up, clean up his beard, consume some Henny afterwards and potentially dive into some vagina around 3am. A good barber who plays his role is going to also know he’s wrong, but continue to egg him on and agree to increase his potential tip.
Now if you go to a respectable shop, the crowd of niggas waiting are going to take the bait, and immediately attack this dickhead whose in the chair talking nonsense. And here is where the magic starts. Full out war of personal opinions and preferences that have no merit whatsoever for the most part. But its never no dictionaries or encyclopedias in any real nigga barbershop in existence, so basically everything said during the debate is fact until you step out the shop and disprove it. You really a faggot if you go on google to prove some shit in a barbershop debate, 90’s kids really won’t abide by this rule which is why they really all half way gay in my opinion, but thats neither here nor there.
You gotta love the shop man, its a melting pot of generations in one place that you really won’t get anywhere else. Its always that one old head in there thats going to tell you that Earl the Pearl & Tiny Archibald would give dudes 50 if they played today. There’s going to be some foolish young scrap in there defending Lebron & his hairline. And then you likely to have a hater in there like me saying that Bron is just Shawn Kemp with a little handle, just to even things out.
I’ve heard Eric Snow scored 70 in a summer league game out Philly, I’ve had niggas tell me Anthony Mason should’ve made a All-Star game, last time I was in a barbershop some dude told me Willie Green was one of the best scorers in the league. I really can’t be mad at any of those remarkably false statements, cause allat is fair game in the shop. So salute to barbershop debates all across the nation in every hood; pay homage.