Right now this is us.
This is you with us.
But to keep it 100% you feeling like this.
A lot of times the situations that make or break whether you really like a female is how she acts to those moments when we traditionally don’t want you to be there. The times where its already genetically predetermined that we won’t pay attention to you.
(This song is highly relevant to the topic at hand)
Placed in such a dilemma, Ladies, you have two options. You can be the basic chick, whose going to make an attempt at a cry for attention, by talking a lot, offering up sex, or tweeting some wack, lonely and scorned shit AND/OR fake tweeting like you know whats going on. Or you could be the dope chick, who effectively plays the background but still puts her own stamp on the viewing experience?
We already know nobody wants to be basic, so in order to be the latter, here’s what you can do:
1. MAKE A DISH – This is obvious, but you gotta be careful, selective, and very confident about what it is you cook. The go to move here in most chicks minds is the wings & fries. Wrong. Basketball is a whole different animal, things happen too quickly. You look down to take a bite of the buffalo wing and in that .5 seconds he could miss Russel Westbrook crossing the life out of somebody. All his mans start tweeting about it, and deep down he’s tight cause if you didn’t buy the wings he would’ve seen the whole thing. Off top you got a negative effect on the viewing experience. You don’t want that. Essentially what you want to do here is AVOID finger foods. Stick to stuff that you need utensils for. Pasta & chilli probably the wave. If you can get jiggy with the baked goods thats cool too. If you wanna get extra exotic on em you could holla at the Swish proclaimed “Oven Godess” @HoneeCakesBakery, log onto www.HoneecakesBakery.com order something and swish the viewing experience all the way out.
2. DON’T ACT LIKE YOU KNOW MORE THAN YOU DO – Peep game, we’re not trying to watch the game with Charles Barkley, if we wanted to we wouldn’t have you around. So no need to act like basketball is your specialty, by making introspective comments that make no sense whatsoever. For example I was watching the game with mom dukes the other day and she told me & my pops Doc Rivers was a better coach than Phil Jackson, and then we proceeded both to leave her and watched the game downstairs. You wanna avoid comments like that. Contrary to your beliefs, its kind of cool to us when you don’t know what you’re talking about, most times we’d rather it that way.
2A. ASK QUESTIONS DURING THE COMMERCIALS, we like feeling like we know more than you do. We like teaching chicks new shit. Plus, questions show interest. Even if you don’t know anything about ball its dope that you making the effort.
3. ENHANCE YOUR AURA– Occupy yourself. We super engaged into the game, so engage yourself in something that you like doing for yourself. Yea you look good n allat but do something to enhance your aura something light feel me? Paint your toes, do some wild exotic type yoga stretches on the floor. We even respecting you doing some fake ab exercises. Point is, do something that doesn’t involve him, but is essentially for him in some way. We need ya’ll to stretch first so that we can reaaallllyy stretch nahmsayin!?
4. DONT FLIP FLOP TEAMS – This is wild important right here. If you flip flop teams, you’re a hoe. It speaks a lot to your character. If you pick a side, a team to root for at the beginning of the game, for whatever reason that may be. Stick to that team, stay loyal. Don’t be that girl on twitter who started rooting for Kevin Durant after he made those three’s in the 4th quarter of Game 2. That’s hoe shit, and we take note of those that do, trust me. If you flip flop teams, you might possibly be flip flopping on mad cock as well. Loyalty is loyalty in all aspects of life, so be that down chick who’s staying true to one side whether they down 30 or up 50, it says a lot.
5. 20/20 RULE – If he cares about the outcome of the game, stick to this. 20 minutes after his team loses, 20 minutes after his team wins. If our team wins, you have to allot us 20 minutes to see if any funny shit happens in the post game interviews, talk our shit to the haters via twitter, and make whatever disrespectful phone calls we need to make to the homies. Overall it takes 20 minutes to fully bask in victory. 20 minutes after a loss is played the same way for you. Get out the room for like 20, go make a phone call to one of your lonely homegirls, she needs it. But most importantly, come back in the room like the game DID NOT happen. Don’t even speak about basketball, don’t tell me maybe next year. Don’t ask me shit, just turn on VH1 or whatever and cook on from there.
We just out here just trying to watch these Finals, enjoy the start of our respective summers, and keep our TLs free from as much lonely tweets as possible. Ladies follow these brief steps, be just a lil more dope than you already are, and turn those fake imaginary “Him’s” whose cause you no stress into real life n*ggas that get on your nerves on a regular basis.