Worst Summer Ever: NYK Edition

“It hurts when ya gotta kill a n**** u love” -Fabolous Anthony

This is how I’ve been feeling for the most part this summer when it comes to the Knicks. I’m basically ready to creep across the Brooklyn Bridge to my hometown team. I wouldn’t even call it being a traitor or whatever but being a Knicks fan is like watching the stock market, highs, lows, and you never know what to expect next. My little brother don’t even want his Carmelo jersey anymore, it’s stress. We’ve been in the news this summer for doing everything but getting better.

Here’s why we’re having the worst summer.

Exhibit A: We touch on haircuts and irrelevant, relevant things of that nature a lot here at Swish, so why not.

There’s absolutely no country for the Bishop in Juice high top fade. After tearing his ACL in Game 1 you would think Iman would just chill and humbly rehab the knee. Not only is he wearing a high top fade but he’s also flooding our timelines with freestyles and songs that real Knicks fans wouldn’t dare hulkshare. And then he tops it off by wearing shades in the gym. I just don’t know anymore, maybe we shoulda traded him to Phoenix. If he can’t lock up anymore we have three valid explanations as to why. He probably in the gym working out to his own music too. Smh Terminator shades, Big Sean lay. 0-1

Exhibit B: I remember the day Uncle Swish told me the Knicks were pursuing Jason Kidd I just laughed it off and continued glaring at Dominicans out of the passenger window. I had no clue he was being serious. This was lowkey the first sign of the end though. I mean yea it’s Jason Kidd the 3rd all-time leading 3 point shooter, I kinda understood that and respected it a little bit. But he’s also 38 or one of those cool uncle ages now, what can he really do in the long run (3 year deal)? And then that steamy Saturday afternoon on the train uptown I received an alert to my phone informing me that Jason had received a DUI. To me there were only 3 or 4 Knicks who I would even suspect of getting DUI’s (JR, Bill Walker, Amare and Baron before the injury). I start to think how ironic that the “old, mature, veteran” guy we bring in to mentor J. Lin goes out and gets drunk and runs his car into a telephone pole. Just look at this mug shot. He lost before he got his first assist.

I don’t know if he was driving drunk or if he raped someone. Either way it’s another L. 0-2

Exhibit C:

This is when it hit me bruh, first round exit. I lost so much faith in 4 Penn Plaza at the sight of this. I’m not gonna even comment too much on this lay but a stocking cap and karate shoes, I pray Amare robbed a store after the Summer League game cuz I don’t know why else he’d don this outfit. 

Just a close up of the statincap, and Fatman Begins. 0-3

Exhibit D: Never would we post that pic of Tyson Chandler-Ocean from the ESPN cover. If you opened that link up you a stone cold faggot and I really don’t want you reading this blog. But yea, n***** out here getting fully naked for magazine covers and then lacing em up and stepping into Madison Square Garden, Latrell rolling over in his grave right now. Kris Humphries gonna kill Tys, Chris Bosh might give him the most tender 20 and 12. There you have it, clean sweep, 0-4, bring out the brooms, get the Knicks TFOH!!

At the end of the day it’s becoming easier and easier for me to make that switch to BK. Not saying I will or other Knicks fans should but it’s only so much you can take you know?

But yo, it’s still f*** Jeremy Lin word to muva.

Swishhhhhh

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