2 dozen plus one, 2013-1988, The __ Days of Christmas, we could keep this going but it would almost be as disrespectful to Kobe as ESPN calling him the 25th best player for the upcoming season. While I whole-heartedly disagree with that ranking (he’s still somewhere in the top 7) it’s looking like a quiet season for the purple and gold in Los Angeles. There are two bright spots with real championship aspirations, and then two candle lit teams that are about as bad as an NBA team can possibly be this season. Can Kobe fend off fathertime one more year? Are the Suns really going to roll that roster out into an arena near you? Will Blake Griffin have to get choked out again before he gets his game together? Are the Warriors your new favorite team?
“Two for fives them n***** got gahbage down the way” -Raekwon (C.R.E.A.M.). It’s crazy how ESPN just .dismissed Kobe like I’ve been trying to do for 6 years; you gotta believe he’s ready to turn it up right now, whether the Achilles is good to go or not. The Lakers roster is looking real calm for the 2013/2014 season though. I guess I’ve always been a Laker hater but this is looking real Chris Mihm, Smush Parkerish. Pau is still good money but he’s not getting any younger and the Lakers still need 2010 type numbers from him and on a consistent basis that’s going to be kinda tough. Steve Nash been washed, dried and folded, damn near ready to give him to the Salvation Army right now, but let Laker fans tell it, he’s looking “iight” lol, cool. Chris Kaman has been looking solid in the preseason, if he can stay healthy the Lakers can remain in the 6-8 race out West, but you’re a lunatic if you think Chris Kaman is giving Mike Dantoni more than 48 games this year. The Lakers biggest problem is that they won’t be able to stop a sneeze this year. Offensively they’re above average and those two things don’t really equate to the playoffs in my mind. I don’t want to not include them in the playoff picture cuz they still have Kobe on the team, BUT it’s still f*** Mike D’Antoni till the death so get the Lakers outta here and get them banners outta here too when Doc is coaching. 40-42 1st seed in the lottery.
Everytime I think I’ve discovered the worst team, I stumble upon one even worse. That’s exactly who the Phoenix Sons are. The roster is full of dudes who probably enhance their attributes on 2k so they can avg 20 a game. They are gonna find a way to get rid of Dragic so I don’t even consider him a part of the team. Eric Bledsoe is a mystery, his athleticism is crazy, he’s on roids, and he locks up, but we’ve never seen E Bled make a skillful play in 4 years; the Sons are about to pay him though so salute. Archie Goodwin is an interesting rookie off the pine he had moments last year at Kentucky but he seemed like he didn’t like playing for Cal so he half-a**ed it most of the season, I think he’ll be a good pro. I don’t know why you would want twins on the team (Markieff and Marcus) that just clogs up that position. Maybe Phoenix will be in the business of wheeling and dealing (Clydeism) this year because I’m looking at the roster like a calculus test right now. I see the Sons competing with each other more than with their opponents. 21-61.
Arizona Iced Teas > Arizona Sons
Shaq is now some sort of owner of the Sacramento Kings, kinda voids the whole Sacramento Queens thing he ran with 10 years ago. Shaq joining the Kings only means that he can tell Boogie Cousins to his face, every night that he needs 28 and 15. I feel the same way Shaq does when he makes those statements on TNT. This isn’t Boogie’s last chance at being great, but we’re getting tired of waiting on you blood. Greivis Vasquez has developed (to Uncle Swish’s disgust) into a solid point guard who can really hand out the pill. Fake Isiah Thomas has to be pissed because he has to keep proving himself and now he’s basically in a lose lose situation, too bad there’s really no country for 5’9″ players in the league cause son plays hard and has a lot of heart. I’m actually surprised that Jimmer is still on this team, we’re still rooting for him just cause his brother shut down Dyckman a couple years ago
The Kings are going to be as consistent as Boogie is, that’s what they’ve been since he’s been in the league, but now he has some years under his belt and Shaq in his ear so there’s no reason he shouldn’t hit that 28 and 15 a couple of times this season. I wasn’t sold on Ben McLemore but in the pre season he’s looked a lot better than he did in the summer league, he’ll be the top rookie in the Pacific Division. Outside of these players there’s really no one worth paying attention to on this roster. They’ll be better than the Suns 32-50, but the season is still looking serene on paper.
“*heavy breathing*… I need about 36 and 17 outta you tonight young fella”
This is the first season that I think I have ever heard the Warriors mentioned in NBA Finals talk in the pre season. Premature? Possibly, we’ve seen teams peak in the second round and never hit that next gear and that might have been the case with the Warriors if they didn’t make substantial moves in the summer. And that’s exactly what they did with the contact that they gave to Iggy in July. Once it was proven that Iggy wasn’t the “go to guy” his star value plummeted but it seems his team value shot up. Correct, he does nothing great, his shooting is reminiscent to Rick Ross on Accident Murderers; but he does everything well, he’s the ‘clean’, shorter version of Lamar Odom. He looks like he will be an invaluable piece to the Warriors puzzle. At the end of games he will probably run the team so that Steph and Klay can run crazy off of screens and get open for three’s. Steph has been injury prone word to his ankles since he was at Davidson but with him moving off the ball down the stretch when it gets tight he should be a little more durable, I know Uncle Swish said he’ll be an all star snub but (if the Warriors are as nice as I’m touting them) I think he puts up similar 22 and 8 numbers and gets his first ASG appearance. Klay Thompson will have less eyes on him this year with Iggy in the lineup so he should be much more efficient as a shooter and defender due to it. Harrison Barnes moves to the 6th man and also catapults his way into the top 3 6th men in the NBA as a result. He’ll have huge scoring nights coming off the bench for Mark Jackson because I believe they’ll play similar to Miami with a small lineup at the end of games and allow Barnes to close with Steph, Klay, Iggy, and Bogut. Bogut HAS to stay healthy, because he will anchor their defense, without him they’ll be asking a lot of David Lee to defend the rim. And when it comes to the bench they have my absolute favorite second unit with the aforementioned Barnes, Toney Douglas, Draymond Green, Kent Bazemore, Jermaine O’Neal, Mareese Speights, and Festus Ezeli when he returns. Clearly based on me not mentioning a single flaw of this team (interior defense) I have them getting to the Finals to face the Heat. They probably won’t win this division even though 57-25 is damn good, the other Los Angeles team may take that but no one wants to see them in a best of 7, maybe not even the South Beach Heat.
I can’t wait till Baze bangs it on somebody!!!
I don’ t think that there is a better coach at motivating his team than Doctor Rivers; I be ready to suit up hearing Doc’s voice on the tube. I think the job he did with Boston the past 6 years put him in the elite amongst coaches in recent memory. All of this being said, I don’t think he can really transform this Clippers team into a champion because they don’t have any glaring strengths at this point. They rely too much on Chris Paul to do everything for them offensively. As old as Paul Pierce is now they could have truly benefited from having someone on the team to take eyes off of CP at the end of games. Blake’s potential is still out on the wings of the plane, we’re looking at em like are you gonna just chill out there for the ride or are you gonna join us (him)? I watched Blake confidently shoot an airball over the hoop this preseason and that gave me all I really needed to see to judge him for the whole season. DeAndre Jordan is a poor man’s Javale McGee, need I say more? He has to step up. I like JJ Redick as the starting 2, he gives Chris a real spot up shooter, so does Jared Dudley, but those spot up shooters aren’t going to help much in the playoffs when Iggy, or Tony Allen, or Reke, or Danny Green is making life hard for Chris Paul, they need another player who can create, more so for self. I know Jamal Crawford is on the team but we’ve seen that play out enough times in the playoffs to know that we can’t count on it more than once a series. I think they project well as a regular season team 61-21 but when teams have 7 games to hone in on what the Clippers are doing/not doing they can be stopped. The Clippers could benefit from a major Jamal Crawford-DeAndre deal where they get a swing who can score and another big out of the deal. I’m no GM so that might not even be feasible but that’s what they need to do.
No way Rodney Rogers would’ve ever agreed to wearing these
Swish Favorite: Kent Bazemore
Most Washed Up: Steve Nash
Big Swish Money: Steph Curry
Young Breakout: Eric Bledsoe
Rookie to Watch: Ben McLemore