“Bench Players Talkin’ Like Starters, I HATE IT” Salute Chuck, & Flav(Video Below). Here’s a list of not so much whose trash, but of some dudes that just ain’t really those dudes feel me. For one he’s just not that guy yet, and some just not at all. SWISH
1. Dwight Howard
For the Simple Fact That…he be trying to wear the same t-shirt size as me and he 260. For the simple fact that he lied to us and said he was 6’11, son stood next to Pau last season looking no taller than 6’8. For the simple fact that he shot 43% FROM THE POST last season and had the nerve to ask for the rock more. Guarantee the Rockets don’t make it out of the 2nd round.
2. Tony Parker
For the Simple Fact That…he tried to drop a rap album with no shape up. For the simple fact that his song w/ Fab was kind of fire on the humble. For the simple fact that he still hasn’t gotten Eva Longoria back. And furthermore, even as great as Parker is and has been, he’s never been the “man” on his own team. I know he’s the best player now, but even the times he’s off, he still has the greatest PF in the game to lean on, and its been that way his entire career. No clue how people rank him ahead of Westbrook, Melo, and even D-Will for that matter.
3A. Doc Rivers
For the Simple Fact That…they gave him a goddamn jersey at his press conference, what part of the program is that!? He’s the first coach to get traded like an actual player so we’re treating him as such. In retrospect, his only ring was really due to Tom Thibodeau’s defensive scheme. I don’t really get how he’s going to change the product on the court here. In Boston he just let Rajon run up and down doing whatever he felt like, and that’s exactly what Vinny Del Negro did the past two seasons. Which resulted in 2 exits prior to the conference finals….which brings us to our next victim
3B. Chris Paul
For The Simple Fact That…. at what point does stop getting CP a pass for taking L’s!? If Westbrook got out played by Mike Conley, and booted in the first round as a result ya’ll would CRUCIFY him. Why has Blake Griffin’s stats gotten worse since CP came to LA!? Why is DeAndre Jordan still trash!? Why is Brand Jordan still making the CP3 sneaker? All questions still yet to be answered This is the 2nd consecutive year he’s been on this Swish list, hopefully this season we can all come together as a collective and officially get CP outta here.
4. Serge Ibaka
For The Simple Fact…that he’s out here trying to be a model(minor pause) instead of working on his jump hook. For the simple fact that Serge is from Africa and STILL hasn’t worked out with Hakeem yet. F*** is he waiting for? For the simple fact that in retrospect, I’m getting tight that he’s the sole reason we won’t ever get to see Durant, Harden, & Westbrook form the greatest trio in NBA History. He’s looking like a glorified Horace Grant right now. That 14 million is looking real funny in the light.
5. Kyrie Irving
For The Simple Fact That…The hypebeast fans got a hold of his youtube clips and have now placed wayyy too much weight on his shoulders. This is my guy right here, probably my 2nd favorite player in the league today. But I’ve seen all types of blasphemy putting him ahead of Rose, Westbrook, Melo ect. in player rankings. Absolutely ridiculous, and unfair to Kyrie who still has to figure out how to play a complete game. He might be the best out in a year or two, but for this season there’s no way he can live up to the hype.